19 Jul 2009

CORNERED: tweet fiction

I attempted to write really short stories.....shorter than flash fiction.....lesser than 300 characters, just a small experiment. The theme I chose was 'cornerned' from the perspective of different people, situations and things because whenever i read about someone in the newspaper, like MJ or Shiney Ahuja, I keep thanking my stars that I'm not in their place, reaching a dead end, totally cornered.....every person will interpret what I've written in a different way, that's why I've not specified whom or what I've written this about. Please drop in ur comments along with what u thought each one was about [each small paragraph is about a different thing.]

Cornered:

1. I sail down amongst the boxes, alone, with just me and without me. Silhouettes cheer me, stamp me, judge me, but I grapple alone in a corner, living on prescribed air. The air aches of me, the 'me' I struggle to grasp and slip from. Escaping left me with tags of me….. It’s the tags that cost a lot, the tags which come with a price.


2. Smother, smudge, a red burst, spread, bulb out…..fight the smothering, more than the layers, the smell of a strict fight, squeezed corner. I branch out, hide, die, and come out when you turn your back. Fight me teen, the heats with me; I’m a part of your forehead destiny.

3. Shock smudged eyes; they saw it as smoky black make-up. Murmur, rumour
Twitch, tangled
D
R
I
P
[ft]. Its sealed as you escape with me. Door vs. air, a thread with the dead.

[if u want to know what they actually are about to match with ur interpretations, read the first comment :) ]

4 comments:

Rheaa said...

first one: its about M.J.
second one: about boil, pimples.
third one: a murder, the victim and the murdered, both cornered

Anonymous said...

Hi Rheaa


Let me guess , the first one is about Micheal Jakson, the second one is about pimples the third one is something to do with murder

doublefaced said...

Wow. Firstly I must say I was impressed by the depth and poigancy of your writing. Those stories could easily have been poems by world class poets!
The pimple one was particularly humourous, and you’ve written it in a rather fascinating way which makes something as mundane as a pimple seem almost fascinating, dangerous even! The MJ one was my personal favorite. My favorite line was “but I grapple alone in a corner, living on prescribed air” . The prescribed air you allude to I assume refers either to the drug prescription and how it was killing him, or how he only had a few breaths of air left, a few hours longer to live till he died. The last line was also beautiful – I think what you’re trying to say is how even after he escaped from the vicious cycle of drugs and what not, a stained impression of him was still left on earth, and it all only magnified after his death… of course this is my personal interpretation, which could easily be rubbish!
I think perhaps you should include a small analysis of your work so we can appreciate it better. I didn’t understand the last story very well, though I’m sure it has hidden nuances of meaning which I couldn’t comprehend. I really want to know your thought process when you wrote this – you have a way with words, which is especially commendable at this age! You haven’t used particularly flamboyant vocabulary but you’ve still portrayed your points powerfully.
Excellent job, and keep writing! I look forward to reading (and commenting) on more of your work!

Rheaa said...

thanks! ur right, i will include an analysis a.s.a.p. since its been long enough for people to come up with their interpretations by now......

thanks u for all the compliments! do u have a blog? it would be great if u typed ur real name :)